Dreamscape
I woke up wanting to write about all that I had accomplished in light of the pandemic but I can’t. Instead a dream insisted on showing me what I truly feel, the depth of which I truly don’t quite completely understand. Maybe by writing about the dream will give me the clarity I need to deal with what is happening in reality. The fact that the world is digressing, the hopeful tone most people have had is diminishing, and I have no doubt that my mind is beginning to feel the full weight of this issue. I have experienced many positive moments over the last two days: I completed my Master’s degree, played ping pong and cornhole with my children in the backyard, created my first teaching YouTube video, dug out a plant in the backyard that my wife and I have been discussing needed to be done for the past two years, fixed a hole in the laundry room ceiling where the electrician “accidentally” stepped through while rewiring the recessed lighting, rearranged furniture in all the rooms, trimmed trees, finished three weeks of lesson planning, interacted more transparently with my family, learned how to use new technology like Zoom, Skype, and Google Hangouts, and tried very hard to keep the mask on showing my “cheery” side. But the cracks in the façade continue to grow-longer, deeper, more deadly- as the death count associated to COVID-19 rises and the news bombards us with a societal upheaval of epic proportions. New information regarding the virus spread rate states that it is “probably three times as infectious as the flu” (Dr. Redford, NY Times, 03/31/2020). A study conducted by Dr. Lydia Bourouriba, an associate professor at MIT, told USA Today news sources that research on the dynamics of coughs and sneezes found these “exhalations cause gaseous clouds” that have the ability to travel up to 27 feet. This implication is far reaching for many reasons but the primary concern is how does this affect social distancing requirements? They have been set at six feet and yet 27 feet is the recommended safe distance.
What world will we be left with after all this over? School was supposed to be postponed through May 1st but within a few short hours this local order was superseded by the State Superintendent mandating schools in California remain closed for the duration of the school year. Distance learning is here to stay yet how do we function if the students don’t log on, ignore teacher emails, don’t turn in assigned work or are they dealing with their own psychological problems as a result of what’s happening to their family and local community. Their (children) world is imploding and they are stuck in a self-quarantined bubble fully stocked with enough figurative ammunition and guns to destroy anyone’s mental stability. Consider that we are able to open our laptops, computers, smart phones, tablets, and video game consoles (the guns) which are locked and loaded with social media, games, news, emails, live streams, and documentaries (the various ammunition). Children and adults engage with these in a manner that consistently, repeatedly, and without regard for the human psyche fire information at us indiscriminately. Further, businesses are shutting down at an alarming rate, joblessness claims continue to rise, the stock market data is showing the worst quarter one loss in history, the CDC has shifted gears and recommended everyone wear a mask, and cities are beginning to close off entry and exit points to persons who are not part of their community. No wonder why our students are struggling to find the strength and motivation to continue functioning when their multi-tiered support system (teachers, counselors, therapists, coaches, instructional aides, administrators, and peers) have been ripped from their lives.
Not to sound sarcastic, but how are we supposed to wear masks if our medical professionals cannot procure them? It is a documented fact that there is a major shortage of N95 protective masks in the medical field. I guess we are left to fend for ourselves and begin sewing cotton masks.
My dream: A desolate two-lane highway leading south to an unknown location stretched as far as my mind could conceive. I would begin my journey by heading south on this lonely road in a simple unassuming car. The interior was comfortable as though the seat was formed to fit my body. Life was good until the thought that I left something behind creeped into my head stealing the peacefulness that I had been enjoying. I turned around heeding the call to return and found there was nothing from whence I came. I then found a motorcycle sitting idly on the street which was loaded down with a dog on the front, and a faceless child sitting on the backseat. The brown dog was large like my recently deceased mastiff but had long hair that resembled a golden retriever. I didn’t recognize either animal or child and continued at a fast pace along the southbound freeway. Obstacles began emerging causing me to swerve erratically and again, the foreboding feeling that I had forgotten an unknown object forced me to concede my forward momentum and turn around. The scene cuts to a sparsely unfamiliar furnished apartment. I walked slowly through the middle of the living room, a brown suede couch was pushed against the wall and across from the couch was a black low-lying TV stand with a tube television perched on top. I noticed the television was blank reflecting my shadow in the screen as I continued my search for whatever it was that seemed to be missing from my person. Smells wafted in the air gently tinkling my senses and hinted that I had been there before. But I couldn’t place the odors, oddly placed furniture, and noticeable absence of any persons living in the apartment. An alarm rang like a distant church bell until the moment when I awakened.
I laid in bed pondering the dream that resonated through my body. Whatever alarm I had accidentally set was a result of past responsibilities that no longer mattered. As I am learning, time is becoming irrelevant in the face of this much adversity that each of us are dealing with both individually and collectively.