Interlude: The boy with the silver band (Sa Pa, Vietnam)

According to Hmong tradition, the married women in the local Hmong villages wear a silver band containing intricate etchings around their neck. The marriage band is worn outside of the clothing and is adorned with small chain links hanging down around their chest area. The Hmong males typically do not wear any jewelry; except for a small boy who wore a silver band around his neck at all times. This boy was noticeably different from the other children playing around the home stay and surrounding village: he exuded joy, unbridled energy, an unmatched exuberance for life, and engaged with all the home stay patrons in a way that made us smile and feel at ease.

Late into the evening of our second day, after consuming several glasses of happy water, I asked our guide, Moo, why the boy wore the silver band around his neck. Moo became very serious, set the green plastic jug containing happy water on to the table and told me the following story.

Bim is six years old, and Moo’s sister’s daughters son. When Bim was a baby, nothing could be done to appease him. He cried constantly; to the point all the villagers were worried that something was wrong with Bim. The years passed by and Bim’s behavior worsened. His bouts of sadness were inconsolable, he was aggressive with other children causing Bim to be isolated from his peers, and he would not listen to his parents or other adults. Furthermore, Bim struggled to speak clearly and everything they tried to do to help Bim failed. Bim’s family and friends were desperate to find out what was wrong with him, so they took Bim to the local Christian pastor to see if he could help. All they wanted was for Bim to be happy, and everyone prayed feverishly for Bim to be healed of whatever ailed him. But the pastor could not help Bim, and Bim’s behavior worsened.

Next the family brought Bim to the Catholic priest. They prayed together, performed rituals, and still Bim was not healed. Finally, with no where else to turn, the family visited their village Shaman. Moo advised the Hmong villagers are primarily Christian and Catholic, but there is always a Shaman in every village who is the communities link to their traditional belief system. The Shaman observed Bim’s behavior and sought guidance from the spirit world. The Shaman then placed a silver band around Bim’s neck, tied it securely in place, and advised Bim would have to wear the silver band for the rest of his life. Shortly thereafter, it was observed by the boys friends and family that Bim’s entire demeanor changed: he was happy, began speaking clearly, never was seen crying, played with other children, and smiled constantly. The parents were overjoyed because Bim had been healed.

Moo finished the story and poured me another shot of happy water. I didn’t know if I was stunned or just in disbelief about what I had just heard. The story was fantastical, deeply spiritual, and went against every single religious belief system I had been taught in the Western “civilized” world. I took another shot of happy water and watched with fascination as Bim zoomed by me on a self-propelled plastic car, his laugh reverberating through the communal room. I had so many questions left unanswered, but I knew Moo was telling the truth. And truth is all I care about.