Pandemic Birthday

Lately, I have embraced the clouds and rainy days like a welcome friend that reflects my somber mood. There is a part of me that desires this type of weather to stay around longer in lieu of warm sunny days so that I have a mental and physical excuse to lay around inside watching society be dismembered limb by limb. My oldest daughter turned 20 years old and I would not suggest celebrating anything during a pandemic. Yes, it was memorable but damn, a book cannot contain the shit show that occurred because of the constraints created by the new societal rules. Early in the morning, my wife decorated the house with balloons and set out my daughters’ favorite candy on the dining room table. This part was the normal routine that has been happening in our household since the children were born. My oldest daughter awakened and I could immediately see in her face that this was going to be a different type of birthday. She tried to appear happy but she is a social butterfly and the lack of interaction with her friends had been taking a toll on her for some time now. She opened presents, I made strawberry filled crepes and brown sugar maple flavored sausage links at which point the wheels slowly began falling off the birthday train. She began receiving phone calls from her friends wishing her a “Happy Birthday” but the absence of personal contact was self-evident. Most of her friends that were still allowed to leave their homes (about 4 or 5) agreed to meet in the afternoon at our house to hangout in the backyard. We meandered through the day trying to make the best of a milestone birthday yet the pervasive dark cloud of the virus continued to suck the energy from the celebration. My oldest daughter promised me that the gathering was going to be small because all of her friends were at varying levels of self-quarantine. 

Hanging outdoor lights has been on my list of “things to do” for a week now which provided a good reason to leave the house. When I arrived at the local hardware store, I noticed the parking lot was more full than usual. I walked through the sliding glass entranceway and observed the interior was filled with people. Both cashiers’ stations had large plexiglass shields (normal now for any interaction between customer and store employees) blocking any contact between the customer and employee, there were six-foot markers on the floor, and the line to pay was set back from the cashiers’ station. This is the new normal when shopping. Understanding the physical distancing constructs is essential to functioning within this pandemic society. 

Around 3:30PM, my daughter’s friends started arriving and within 15 minutes we had eight young adults in the backyard starting to drink heavily and playing loud music. I looked out my front window and there were cars lining either side of our street because it is becoming a rarity for persons to drive together anymore. I began experiencing extreme levels of anxiety trying to balance the birthday celebration with my neighborhood’s perception of what a party might imply (gathering of 10 or more people) and a “shelter in place” order that we were violating. Before it got out of hand, my oldest daughter, son, youngest daughter, wife, and I met privately together in the living room and I voiced my concerns. My oldest daughter told me she was surprised by who had showed up and she felt torn asking anyone to leave. We agreed, for the moment, that the party could continue but the music had to be kept at a low volume, all of her friends had to control their voice levels if they were going to stay, no one was allowed inside the house, and everyone had to leave no later than 8:00PM. When my oldest daughter left the room, I was surprised to hear my youngest daughter (15 years old) chime in to say she agreed with our decision to place restrictions on the party. The world really is changing if my children are agreeing with my choices!

My wife and I drove to our favorite restaurant to pick up food which we had ordered for the family birthday dinner. I struggled the entire time with feeling responsible for all the persons at my house. The “what ifs” rattled around my brain until I told my wife that I almost couldn’t handle it any longer. Since the main restaurant was closed, we sat patiently in our car and the waitress brought our food to us. Everything is take-out or drive thru, I don’t know what’s going to happen to the restaurant industry if this continues much longer. I can’t imagine the amount of money owners are hemorrhaging without stable customers and the only source of income is take-out or delivery. A recent directive from the California Governor has been to allow alcohol to be served with take-out meals in order to increase profits wherever possible. On our way back home, I expressed to my wife that I was having an anxiety attack related to the impromptu party at our house and I did not want to be responsible for any of the persons contracting the virus much less my own family becoming sick. 

We arrived back at the house and my daughter was already drunk. Because everyone was drinking, there was also drama between my daughter’s boyfriend and another boy who was there, so my wife stepped in and gently persuaded everyone it was time to leave. Due to the fact my daughter had decided to go all out with her drinking escapades, our family dinner plans were cancelled and we decided to buy burgers at In N Out for those remaining at our house. 

Reflecting on the daily news is a mish mash of social white washing and trying to find the truth amongst the many differing political, scientific, and personal viewpoints. Trump began vomiting at the mouth and advised he was considering issuing a federal quarantine of New York, New Jersey, and parts of Connecticut. He also issued a travel advisory for three states in our country. No one has any idea what he means when he says a federal quarantine on states except for the images we have seen in movies and this is freaking people out. Governor Cuomo responded to Trumps outlandish comments by saying it would be like declaring war. I’m glad Governor Cuomo stood up to Trump because it forced Trump to back down and retract the federal quarantine statement. Unfortunately, there is precedent being set for localized forced quarantines; there are several small counties in rural America setting up checkpoints and not allowing outsiders into their town for fear of spreading the contagion. The excuse being propagated for excluding travel within these small communities is that they do not have the resources to deal with a large outbreak and their hospitals would collapse from the strain, resulting in wide spread deaths. Rhode Island’s Governor is sending police and the National Guard door to door searching for people from New York who may be infected and Los Angeles’ mayor stated that citizens in his city should plan on quarantining for another eight weeks. TWO MONTHS! There are not enough cuss words to express the helplessness. The federal two trillion-dollar bailout is sending a paltry one-time check ($1,200.00 per adult and $500.00 per child) in the mail for families (joint filing) making less than $198,000.00 on their 2018 tax return. If you didn’t catch what I just wrote, they are basing these payouts on 2018 tax returns (2 years ago). In two years, I had a mental breakdown while working in law enforcement, couldn’t work, recovered, went back to college, transitioned into a new career, and now am employed in a full-time job making half of what I made in law enforcement. Keep in mind, that the fine print of this horrendous bailout does not take into consideration persons who lost their job in 2019 or 2020 but were fully employed in a great paying job in 2018 which means that they are out of luck and won’t receive money from the government. This is such bullshit.

We are now approaching 700,000 globally infected and over 32,000 dead. These statistics are flawed because the U.S. still cannot efficiently and consistently test people.