Pause Button

March 12, 2020 was a marker, a bright line drawn in the sand of history, the culmination of the world coming together and yet simultaneously separated by borders and fear. As a result of coronavirus (COVID-19) infections spreading across the world [approximately 140,000 infected and over 5,000 dead], all major sports (NBA, PGA, NCAA, MLB, NHL) halted, postponed or cancelled their seasons, schools (colleges and K-12) shut down, governments closed off borders, gatherings of 250 or more in California were suspended, and the term “social distancing” became part of our lexicon. Yet the virus still spreads, consuming human bodies like a wildfire with no sign of a cure on the horizon while our elected leaders sit ineptly on the sideline as each countries stock market plunges into chaos, economies tank, and fear roams free. Our future is in limbo, maybe even crisis. 

At school today, I watched the increasing pressure to shut everything down produce a cacophony of interaction. Students were incessantly inquiring about school closing and teachers whispered quietly amongst ourselves trying to understand the movie that is now our reality. By the end of the school day, our local Fresno County school districts caved into the pressure and “postponed” all athletic games, school sponsored events, fundraisers, and extra-curricular activities for at minimum a month. I believe school is next but the administrators are trying their best to avoid this extreme measure. At baseball practice, the mood was somber. Players were struck by the magnitude of the situation and seniors finally realized that their season was rapidly coming to an end. Several players had the opportunity to possibly be drafted in the June amateur draft but with Major League Baseball shut down; this once in a lifetime opportunity went up in smoke. 

This past weekend, I brought my sick wife into the emergency room because she was suffering from symptoms attributed to the coronavirus: coughing, sore throat, lethargic, dizzy, short of breath. When we finally met with the doctor, he stated there were no coronavirus tests available to confirm or deny whether she had the sickness. He was conciliatory and stated he could do nothing more than suggest she take precautions from contacting others. I assisted my wife out of the doctor’s office with few answers to the many questions swirling in our minds: What if she had the sickness and was part of the problem rather than the solution? Were we being responsible by bringing her back home to our children? 

Suffice it to say this has highlighted change in my life and my connection to the collective global entity. No longer am I a passive observer watching from my comfortable cushioned seat in the back row of life’s movie theater. I have been forced into an uncomfortable position of dramatic change that has occurred without provocation or common sense. Some of my actions are predicated on trying to understand why other persons in my community are hoarding toilet paper, bottled water, and other essentials. My wife has visited several brick and mortar grocery stores in our area and witnessed empty shelves even though the supply chain has not been disrupted and there appears to be nothing to suggest an imminent collapse of the food supply. She then attempted to buy toilet paper via Amazon and found there was none in stock. Where is the logic? Where are the sane people?  

Rumors have rapidly become the norm as I sit with friends and family trying to sort out what is truth and what is a vapor of the truth. The onslaught of information is dizzying and pours forth from a myriad of sources: social media, television, email, hearsay, gossip, rumors, and news. All I know is the world has changed. The massive pause button has been pressed and I can’t fathom what may happen next.