Thank You Tha Yang for Culture Shock 101
A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to visit a teacher’s home. The backstory is he lives in a small farming town of approximately 400 people in the province of Phetchaburi, Thailand. He had been living in this village with his Thai wife for the past 12 years and was one of the only Farang’s living in the midst of this community. The vast majority living in this town are related to one another. They farm rice, bananas, and various types of vegetables. They live off the land and are not so much worried about laws; rather they depend on one another for sustenance, love, safety and continuing a way of life that has been handed down for hundreds of years.
After school ended on Friday, we rode in a van from Future Park to Mo Chit Bus terminal in Bangkok (40 Baht) and then transferred to another van from Mo Chit Bus terminal (180 Baht) to Phetchaburi. Upon our arrival in Tha Yang, we were dropped off at an obscure bus stop.
The person I was traveling with informed me that we had to wait for his wife to pick us up in the family truck. Approximately 20 minutes later, she arrived driving a gray older model crew cab truck and his nine-year-old son was in the backseat. I observed his son spoke Thai and was obsessed with playing on his cell phone. The teacher said that his oldest son (12 years old) spoke English but his youngest son had not learned English yet; which forced his wife to translate everything he was saying from English to Thai.
We drove through the city of Tha Yang and into what I would describe as a farming community. He stated that it was a village comprised mostly of near and distant relatives who had built homes next to each other as the family grew. Per Thai law, only Thai’s can own land, therefore he will never be placed on any of the deeds. Further, most if not all the persons living in the village were rice and banana farmers, grew vegetables to sell at the local farmer’s markets, raised livestock (cows), and kept various animals such as chickens and geese. We drove down an unpaved road to his house and I was introduced to the family who all lived together (brother-in-law, sister-in-law, two-year-old baby, mother, father, his wife and two children). My friend asked me to respect the mother and father by kneeling before them while Wai’ing. I thought he was kidding then I watched him do it so I joined in. The parents stood there silently looking down on us and the whole process lasted less than 30 seconds.
The house was a two-story structure that was a combination of wood and cement that allowed unrestricted air flow through a complex venting system in the walls because there was no air conditioning. We sat on the floor due to the fact there was minimal furniture in the house except for a small dining room table with limited benches and there several fans that helped to further circulate air.
The bathroom was a squat toilet with no running water so you had to wash yourself by scooping water from a basin. Once you were done going one or two, you scooped more water into the toilet to create pressure resulting in a lackluster toilet flush. The separate shower area was open air with a cement water basin and also served as the de facto laundry room.
He showed me where I would be sleeping which was on the second floor and I noted that the parents were going to be sleeping in the same area. My bed was a thin mat lying on a hard wood floor with a mosquito net covering it and I observed everyone in the house slept in a similar fashion because there were no mattresses.
As I made my way up to my bed to sleep for the night, I had my first major culture shock event. I didn’t really expect I would feel the immense weight of this thing we call culture shock, yet I did and it hit hard, fast and took me by surprise. Culture shock for me felt like depression, sadness (I wanted to cry), fear of the unknown, wanting to run out the front door, call someone/anyone who spoke English all wrapped into a powerful wrecking ball that rattled my insides. I thought I was prepared or at the least could handle a challenging event but I had never actually experienced anything like what I had walked into.
I awakened the next morning to the parents listening to a monotonous Thai speaking male on the radio located next to their bed and roosters at the neighboring house were crowing incessantly. It took me several minutes to gain my bearings while deciding how I wanted to feel in the midst of still feeling uncomfortable from the culture shock. I forcefully made a decision to stick it out at which point I walked downstairs and observed the brother in law walking around the house wearing just a towel around his waist. I gave him the courtesy Wai and he stared at me like I was an alien. Feeling slightly stunned, I then walked outside towards the rice fields. The sun was rising while I gathered my thoughts and I felt it sending streams of renewed energy towards my unbalanced mind. I watched the elderly family members meander from the house towards the rice fields to start the day and baby chickens pecked away at the ground looking for their morning breakfast.
Several hours passed by until everyone in the family finally awakened. The teacher’s wife cooked us an authentic Thai breakfast in the open-air kitchen consisting of omelets, chicken curry vegetable soup, and white rice.
At the conclusion of breakfast, my friend and I walked five miles to the local temple (Wat Khao Pak Chong). This is where the trip became interesting. In a prior post, I had written about receiving a KomFaek (Thai wooden baton) from this teacher with the intent of using it as protection from feral dogs and other wild animals. He wasn’t kidding. I very quickly became an expert using a KomFaek. I adopted aggressive postures/stances, at times swung like a madman, and other times took a passive approach and ran like hell to get away. There were dogs everywhere and every house had not one, but two, three and four that were intent on keeping everyone away from their house, shack or restaurant. The teacher told me a story during our long hike that one of his in-laws had recently died an agonizing death from rabies because of the fact most if not all the dogs in the area have rabies. The story is very gruesome so I’ll spare you the details. His mother-in-law also was bit in the stomach while riding her motorbike but they were able to take her to a doctor in time. I digress and let’s stay positive thus focusing on the following fact. I am now comfortable with three different fighting sticks: police retractable asp, police baton, and a KomFaek.
Eventually, we reached the road leading to the temple and the dogs thinned out enough to finally enjoy the hike. And I was given a memory or vision or mind picture that I will never forget. I was leisurely walking up the hill and all of a sudden, the most picturesque lotus flower pond appeared alongside the road. I paused out of shear awe trying to take in the size of the lotus flower leaves and how they thrived in a muddy environment. Then to make it even more dramatic, in the middle of the pond amongst the dark green leaves was one pink blossoming lotus flower. I hope the picture captures a thousand words but I think one day, if you’re reading this, you will find it for yourself.
The temple was unique in that it captured the simplicity of the community’s presence. In addition, they had a dead monk in a clear glass casket for all to see which made meditating for me pretty difficult. We meditated for about 20 minutes in a silent empty temple and walked back to his house.
I played with the baby for hours, taught his son’s how to play baseball, shot air soft rifles at birds and static targets, threw water balloons at each other, and ended the night by sitting on the floor in the living room eating together.
I am pretty excited with myself that I forged through my initial reactions and lived for the moment. I learned I had an inner strength that I have never tapped into. It needed to be pushed and stretched beyond my normal expectations to embrace a culture that is steeped in tradition and will probably not change regardless of what modern society says.