On my way to the airport, I had the opportunity to drive past the the first sights I saw when arriving in Hanoi. I was struck by the initial feelings of nervousness and anxiety I had felt and now I leave this beautiful country confidently knowing I engaged with a culture, community, and city in the most positive affirming way possible. I literally have no regrets! I gave my heart and in return I received love, support, healing and memories to last me until my NEXT adventure. I’ve attached a list of memories I’ll miss and some memories which made the adventure truly spectacular (in other words they weren’t easy to overcome).

The Wins 

1. Walking through a sea of mopeds and vehicles large and small moving at top speed and not getting hit-not even a bump (miracles do happen).

2. The one-way hour and a half bus ride(s) to and from the village where I taught.

3. Interacting with the students, staff, and community in the village where I taught.

4. Being stared at as if I was from another planet. 

5. The love and support of everyone at CSDS.

6. Finding foods that were unique and challenged my palette.

7. Sitting on the back of a motor scooter during a torrential downpour and hoping I lived while the massive water droplets blinded me. Then realizing the motor scooter driver wasn’t wearing eye protection and he also couldn’t see!

8. Figuring out how to teach English to students with only a whiteboard and minimal supplies.

9. Eating lunch, sleeping, and hanging out with other teachers during our three hour afternoon break at the village school house.

10. Being told I’m making difference when inside I was doubting myself.

11. Walking home in the middle of Lake Hanoi.

12. The last day I taught and the students gave me hugs and notes of appreciation. 

13. Trying to figure out how to sleep during a six hour overnight bus trip through the Sa Pa mountain range while my head bounced back and forth in every direction like a bobblehead because I’m way to big for the sleeper bed.

14. The views of Sa Pa.  

15. The views of Ha Long Bay.

16. Meeting new people from all over the globe.

17. Walking through the street of Hanoi listening to only Vietnamese being spoken and feeling grateful to be alive.

18. Eating sticky rice for the first time.

19. Saying “Hi” every morning to the villagers during my 15 minute walk from the bus stop to my school.

20. Having dinner with the director of CSDS and finding out there was another person living halfway across the world who thought like me and had similar passions.

21. Watching the farmers from my bus window working in the muddy rice fields endlessly to provide for their families and communities. 

22. Engaging with a country in a positive manner that my father once stood and waged war against.

23. Buying lychees from the local villager at the end of my teaching day.

24. Trying to learn the six different tones of the Vietnamese language and failing miserably.  

25. Bike racing with the students through the village and watching the residents laughing at me riding a bike.  

26. Watching the students laugh at me trying to play charades and being accepted for who I am.

27. Watching a student realize they are speaking English and I had some part to play in it.

28. Realizing the bus had passed my bus stop, and I was going to have to walk a mile back to where I needed to be.

29. Sitting at the bus stop at BX My Dinh and waiting for the 35a or 53b while thousands of motor scooter riders are stopped at red light, stared at me, smiled, waved and much of the time said, “Hallooo”.

30. Stopping at Aeon market after work and buying two sushi packs and a two pack of hard boiled eggs. Then eating them on my walk back to the volunteer house (magical).

31. Pillow fighting with the students before class started.

32. Trying to communicate with people in a large city who have no concept of the English language.  

33. Telling the Nanny how much you appreciate her via Google Translate and for the next two weeks having her specially make freshly cut fruit and scrambled eggs for my breakfast because she appreciated the compliment.  

34. Setting out my wet clean laundry on the top bunk to dry overnight.

35. The feeling after expending every ounce of physical and mental energy I had with my clothing soaked in sweat after a day of teaching in the village school and knowing the kids were grateful and noticed the effort. 

36. The time when a local elderly villager pulled over and offered me cigarettes while waiting at the first bus stop for the 74 or 88.

37. Sitting in the front of the bus and watching the bus driver masterfully navigate the chaotic traffic conditions while working a clutch, and not once come close to hitting any pedestrians or vehicles.

38. Being told by the bus ticket/money guy to be quiet because I was talking to loudly… well watching him point his finger at me and loudly say “Shhhhh”.

39. Drinking copious amounts of Happy Water with Mama Mao and our guide Moo after a day of extreme hiking through the Sa Pa mountains.

40. Sitting on the second floor of my favorite coffee shop in the Old Quarter drinking a coconut coffee, writing, reflecting with a birds eye view of the lake and all the interactions on the street below.

41. Seeing Vietnamese people everywhere wearing conical hats and realizing it wasn’t just something I had seen in a movie or television show.

42. Training the new teachers the bus route and what they needed to do in order to take over teaching duties and them acknowledging the hard work and effort I had expended was noticeable in the positive relationships I had with my students!

The Challenges 

1. The combination bathroom/shower room in the volunteer house with a 24 hour wet floor that soaks your clothing when taking a poop.

2. Sharing a room with 20 something’s who smoke and love to stay up late along with a 17 year old who had never been on his own.

3. Sweating profusely when leaving the air conditioned bedroom. 

4. Climbing the five flights of stairs to my bedroom.

5. The single mattresses built for Vietnamese people.

6. Cramped buses with no leg space for anyone taller than 5’2” tall.

7. Overnight buses with sleeper beds made for those 5’2” and smaller.

8. Motor scooter rides through the craziest traffic in the world.  

9. The thought Lake Hanoi might happen again.

10. The constant honking of car, bus, truck, and motor scooter horns. 

11. The smell of rotting trash emanating from garbage alley where I walked through to get home every day.

12. Being accosted by Grab drivers when exiting the bus at BX My Dinh after a long day of teaching. 

13. The shoe shine people in Old Quarter not listening when you say No I don’t want my shoes cleaned for the hundredth time.

14. Drinking beverages the temperature of bath water.

15. The disappointment I felt when I learned the temples were vacant shells, there were no monks, and the connection to Buddhism in Vietnam was minimal if not non-existent.

16. The horrible guilt I felt when I told the children or vendors I wouldn’t buy something when they had just walked with me through the Sa Pa mountains and sometimes caught me when almost slipping off the trail.

17. The vast amounts of trash accumulating in every corner, alleyway, and street in Hanoi and the surrounding rural areas.  

18. The smell from the garbage fires the locals would set along the roadways to rid themselves of trash.  

19. Having a Grab driver take your cell phone from your hands without asking or warning and cancel your Grab ride because they were trying to scam the system (I understand why but it still was unnerving having it happen).

20. Trying to communicate with others in a large city where most people have no concept of the English language.  

21. Having to sweep the one room school house on a daily basis by hand because there are no vacuums anywhere in Southeast Asia.  

22. Dat (Tam the Interpreters nephew who we had to babysit all day at the school) pulling my hair, slapping my back, pinching me, kicking balls at my head, and laying all over me while I was trying to relax during our scheduled breaks and not stopping because he didn’t speak English.  

23. Ordering a cocktail from the rooftop lounges or bars and receiving a drink with minimal alcohol that was consumed within two sips due to the fact it was made for a Lilliputian.  

24. Listening to foreigners complain about their circumstances. 

25. The one time when there was no AC on Bus 46 and I almost passed out from heat stroke. 

26. Lying next to the the family of four (mom, daughter, son, and grandfather) for five of the six hours on the sleeper bus in a three seat space on the way back from Sa Pa. The two kids threw up in a plastic bag within the first hour, my head was crammed against the bathroom wall, the heat from the engine toasted the right side of my head, every time the toilet flushed I was gassed with noxious fumes, and the mom placed her right elbow into my rib cage to make sufficient room so her children had plenty of room to sleep in her lap.